Out of Office AutoReply

Summa summa summa TYYYme!

I'm about to say hello to a 4 day weekend- Hello Gorgeous! Tomorrow is my first Summer Friday and I'm celebrating with a trip on down to South Beach. It just happens to be the hip hop convention this weekend as well. Which means a lot of this:

A day before I'm out of the office is always a hectic one. Shit is CRAZY today! Relax folks, we are not actually contributing to society in any way! Guess what? Dogs are crawling back to their homes with two broken legs after being swept away by tornados! It takes them 2 weeks! But they make it back to their families! Are you crying? I AM!!!

Week 7 Update

Hello from week 7!

It's been a pretty great week. Not because of anything work related, derrr, but because Boss Birthday was excellent and SUMMER FRIDAYS start this week!

(WAIT TIME OUT, IM PRETTY SURE IM MAKING EYE CONTACT WITH A GUY ON A ROOF IN OVERALLS AND A BANDANA THROUGH MY OFFICE WINDOW RIGHT NOW! EEK THIS FEELS SO WEIRD!!)

Okay, time in. My 7 day birthday celebration (that is not over yet) can be summed up by these photos- in no particular order:

Yep. Someone gave me a million dollars. The week long celebration is making its next stop in Miami, FL. Shout out to my brother! Thanks already for the sushi dinner you don't know you're treating me to! Yum!

When it rains, I snore.

It has been oh so rainy this week. Jesus or Zeus or someone is really trying to neg on my upbeat vibes, but my favorite day of the year is coming so neg away bitches, you can't touch me!

What's my favorite day?


Duh, it's my birthday!

I realllllly don't understand the people who hate their birthdays. "Naw, I'm not going to celebrate. I just want to go to bed and wake up when it's not my birthday."

.....WHAT?

I mean, this is the one day of the year when you can pretty much get away with anything. Make me breakfast, walk my dog, rub my back, buy me presentsssss (shout out to my boyfriend, hi!). For me, it's the happiest day of the year. Selfish? Probably, but that's the whole point of birthdays! I didn't make the rules. I just exploit them.

Although I am celebrating the weekend before, my actual birthday lands right in the middle of the work week. So this year will be my first (only?) birthday as a Boss. Will I get a cake? Will I get gifts? Will people bribe me to do Bossly things for them? Will no one remember? Stay tuned to find out!

In other news, I have been getting quite comfy in my office. Not only do I have multiple pairs of shoes strewn about, blast the Florence + The Machine pandora station, but I have also definitely been taking advantage of the door. Just yesterday I was feeling quite tired so I slid the door closed, pretended to be on an important phone call by talking loudly to no one, and proceeded to lay my little head right down on my desk.

And here is a visual:

And there you have it! Week six people, welcome to it. 

Farm Livin' is the Life For Me

When you work in a part of town where dodging tourists and avoiding "comedians" begging you to come watch their stand-up is the name of the game, finding a quiet, yummy place to eat lunch can be impossible! But if you happen to be the Boss, you just may have the low down on the down low lunch joints. So DL in fact that stars can often be spotted. 


Secret lunch star spots thus far:


Robin Williams

He was basically wearing this exact outfit/hair situation.

Star Sighting Rating: 9 

Becca Warner

She has a real name, but I'm pretty sure this is the only role she played that mattered.

Star Sighting Rating: 10!

There was also an actress from that Private Practice show, but I mean, who cares?

Star Sighting Rating: not even on my radar

Happy Friday the 13th! 

In honor of the date, I spent 3 hours photoshopping the faces of my friends onto a picture from The Craft. Here are the reviews:

"it is just so weird looking, you all look like deformed"

"i cant even look at it really"

Another successful day at the office! Only 3 hours left in the work day. What shall I do?

It's the Little Things

Rolling into week 5 and I'm still alive. Pow.

The sunshine is slowly warming me up and when paired with a little Gucci Mane commute time, I'm pretty much ready to high-five the shit out of this place. I've been pleased with my outfits the last couple of days, and despite the fact that I got a little heavy handed with my ATM card last month, I have lined up some exciting things to get me on through to July. Can I make it? I think I can!

I'd say the best thing that has happened since I started Bossing was walking into my office this morning and seeing this on my desk:

A shoe tape dispenser! 

Whaaaaaaat? 

Sometimes co-workers are the funniest people ever. I would like to officially thank Scotch Tape for getting it. And you better believe that this shoe dispenser (omg imagine!) is coming with me when I leave this place.

So offical countdown:
38 work days
59 life days

I'm pretty sure I have incorrectly done the math every time I have calculated the countdown, so consider this a rough estimate.

Alright minions,
back to work!

One Month Deep...

two to go. OMG time is moving so slowly and quickly at the same time!

I figured out that June 23rd will be the day I denounce this place once and for all! Well, I'll at least give my notice. 2 weeks bitches! Then I'm outtie. How will I make it until then?

In tough times like these, I often look to my heros for guidance and ask myself, "What Would Cher Do?"

Cher would not take this corporate bullshit laying down. She's saving herself for Luke Perry! She would haul ass to the ladies in her recently broken in purple clogs, give herself a pep talk in the form of a famous quote by Cliffs Notes, send herself flowers and chocolates, then blow off work to go to the mall and see the new Christian Slater.

Basically, I'm just going to pull myself up by the knee-highs and "whatever" my way through the BS for the next 44 work days (forgot about Summa Fridays, hollerrr!). And after that, I'll be jeepin' on down the open road. I am so so SO excited to feel utter and complete freedom. It feels like pop rocks in my belly and the perfect amount of sunburn on my forehead.

Until then, I'll focus my energy on channeling this each and every day: