GUYS!

It's my last day as THE BOSS!!!!!! Can you believe we made it? How do you feel??

Here is how I feel:

SURPRISE! The author of this blog is no man or woman, it's a straight CHILD! Jk jk friends, I did not mean to go all pedo with these reference pics, these children just happen to be on my same wave length right now. It's called the FREEDOM TRAIN and I'm riding it! Meow meow meow meow!

I spent the day tying up loose ends, telling people to fuck off (jk again!), and hiding any evidence of the weird shit I have been doing in this office for the past 3 months. Once I finish this post, I'll erase my internet history et VOILA, my time in office is over like Obama's (REALLY JKJKJK SORRY MOM!!)

In all seriousness, I am proud of myself for making it through, I am thankful to the universe for making the last three months go by so quickly, and I do not feel one morsel of regret in leaving this place. The "lady who named her human child after my canine child" is coming back tomorrow. I will need some strength to get through that bullshit fake smile-a-thon, so universe, don't quit on me just yet! After 6pm today, I will no longer have a desk, so I will need to write from home how my very last last day in this building goes. I might film myself walking out of the building, we'll see. Until then, I would like to say YOW! IM FUCKING DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE AND PEACE TO THE WORLD. DONT LET THE MAN GET YOU DOWN. YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL IN EVERY SINGLE WAY. YOU CAN DO IT. IF YOU DONT LIKE WHATS FOR DINNER, MAKE SOMETHING ELSE.XOXOXOXO

Hi fellas.

Shit has been insane! Everyday something ridiculous happens that tops the day before. Yesterday, my entire calendar with alllllllllll the important info for my job disappeared off of my computer.... pardon? Is this for real? Last week, I had my exit interview with HR and I CRIED. This, unfortunately, is for real real.  See ya never future opportunities with this company! Oh, and last Friday night, I ran into my boss at 3:30am at a bar and he had an anxiety attack and couldn't formulate words...... I cannot even make this shit up, people, it's just so straaaange!

But alas, this is my last real week of being boss! 3 months and only 15 blog posts later (whoops) and I'm in the final countdown: 5 days. I have the day off tomorrow, my last summer friday of my career, then Monday and Tuesday I'm boss, then the woman formerly known as my boss but currently known as the lady who named her baby after my dog, shows back up on Wednesday and I'm outtie on Friday! CAN YOU FCUKING BELIEVE IT? I can't really. Think I'll get a party? I dunno. Hope I get sumthin. I'll let you know, I'm sure your dying to find out.

I am going to keep writing this blog after I am no longer The Boss of this place, just The Boss of Me. When I try to picture my future beyond July it looks like this:

eeks

However, when I picture my life between the dates of July 15th and July 31st, it looks like this:

creeps

No but really, I plan to be partying the entire 2 weeks, so If you know me and want to hang, holler at me. Because before you know, I'll be gone and you'll miss me. This is true, trust. I'm fun! 

Well, it's that time of day where I get together my final task, and then just sit here pretending to be busy for the last 2 hours of the work day when really I'm just reading your stupid tweets and twiddling my thumbs.  I'm in a weird mood right now, sorry. LOVE YOU!